Wonder Woman & Mixed-Gender Partnerships

“What’s a mixed-gender partnership that you appreciate from literature, movies, pop culture, etc.? Why do you appreciate it?”

I was asked this question by the hosts of the Mutuality Matters podcast, Rob Dixon and Layla Van Gerpen. This question inspired me so much that I’ve hung with it for a while. The immediate answer that popped into my mind was: “Wonder Woman” the 2017 film based on the DC Comics featuring Gal Gadot.

But why? It felt like a holy invitation to watch the film again - even if it was a bit self-indulgent! But when I watched it again from the vantage point of mixed-gender partnerships, I was awe-struck by the insights that surfaced.

As I watched Diana Prince storm into male only conference rooms, I thought, “this is what it looks like for a woman to show up in a room when all she has known is that women are strong, powerful leaders, and a force to be reckoned with.”

Diana Prince walks into these spaces without hesitation and without fear. She stands her ground and speaks with bold confidence. She is not distracted by the fact that she is a woman. She blows through cultural norms of how a woman should behave. She pays no attention to where she is not welcome. She is not even slowed down by the many men in the film who tell her “you can’t do that.” or “you can’t be here.”

No - she leads confidently out of who she is, and without the internal doubt that many of us female leaders face when walking into a room full of male leaders. Diana is freed up to solely focus on her mission - to bring peace.

I could feel a sense of longing rise up with my blood pressure as I watched Diana Prince sweep through each scene fully aware of her own gifts, her own power, and offering them to the world so generously on behalf of the most vulnerable.

I sighed as I thought, “Oh if only. If only women all over the world could live like this. If only women could grow up knowing their gifts, their value, their power and leverage them for peace - our world would be so much better.”

Into the Trenches

As the film progressed, I watched the development of her relationship with Steve Trevor - and beyond the romantic connection, I saw true partnership emerge. Diana boldly asked Trevor to take her to where the fighting was most intense, and he took her to the front, to “no man’s land.” On the way in, she is disturbed by the frightening signs of violence and trauma. One woman stops her and begs her to help, “we are starving,” she said, “they have taken many of us as slaves.”

Compelled by her passion for justice, on behalf of the vulnerable women and children who are starving and abused, she courageously steps forward to reach the village to help. But - she must cross “no man’s land” to get there.

Do you feel this already? Me too.

There, Trevor tells her that it is called no man’s land, because no man can cross it. Men have been in the trench for over a year and haven’t gained an inch.

But, Prince is not swayed. She simply lets her hair down, takes on her armor and moves towards the crisis. As she does, Trevor tries to stop her, saying, “This is not something we can cross, it’s not possible…this is not what we came here to do.”

And she candidly replies, “No, but it is what I came here to do.”

In this pivotal moment, Prince is clear on her calling. She allows no amount of naysayers or resistance to stop her. She refuses to give in to despair and hopelessness. She refuses to give in to the agendas of those around her. She moves forward from an inner voice that urgently calls her forth. And she responds.

Oh how I wish that women, particularly women in ministry would get this. No matter the despair that tries to drag us down into hopelessness, no matter the critics who tell us it can’t be done, that something would well up within us that says, “this may not be what you came here to do, but this is what I came here to do,” and boldly move past the resistance to face the mission before us on behalf of the poor and oppressed.

No Man’s Land

So into no man’s land she goes - alone. She boldly moves forward into the face of violence and crossfire. She moves forward with confidence and rises into her own power. But - soon all the guns are turned on her and as she takes the fire. She stops - hunkered down behind her shield.

My heart sank. Now seeing the film again in the context of male and female partnerships, I felt this scene on a gut level.

When women step up as leaders in the church, we go into battle and we take a lot of heat. So much so, that sometimes all we can do is hunker down behind a shield and hold our ground. We can barely move forward at times.

But - what gives me hope in the scene is how Steve Trevor responds, “she’s taking all the fire - let’s go.” He sees not only her predicament, but an opportunity to advance together - and he joins her. While all the guns are pointed at her, Steve and his team come alongside her, taking out the guns that are firing at her, and together they move forward.

I wonder - what would happen if male leaders really saw what was happening to women leaders - saw the heat they are taking from the evil one, from their own church, from opposition on so many levels, and said, “she’s taking all the fire - lets go.”

What would happen if men stood alongside women so that they don’t have to take all the heat all on their own? How could we move forward together when we are both distributing the heat of the fire equally?

Taking On the Sniper

After they cross no man’s land, they come upon the village under siege. A sniper disrupts their ability to get civilians out. None of the men with Diana have the ability to reach the gunfire - not even their own sniper.

It’s worth noting that the sniper is hidden within the church; a painful reminder to me that sometimes the most resistance we face as women in ministry comes from within the church. The enemy often twists and distorts systems where leaders (both men and women), often unaware of their gender bias - unintentionally (or sometimes intentionally) fire at women.

But Trevor remembers something in that moment. He remembers seeing one of the Amazon women yell, “shield” as she lowered herself beneath it - creating a platform for another woman to be lifted where she needed to go to vanquish her enemy.

Trevor sees that Diana is the only one who has the gifts to be able to handle this situation. She is the only one in their little community who is uniquely equipped for this task. So, when he sees a large piece of debris, he calls the men in their company to get beneath it. The men create a platform for Diana to rise to do the thing that only she can do. She rises and takes out the sniper.

Gosh I long for this kind of partnership. Where leaders group together to create platforms, lifting women in her unique gifts to get where she needs to go.

What if women didn’t have to do this battle alone? But were empowered - literally lifted on the backs of male leaders willing to help her ascend into her calling?

Side note: I also love how Trevor chooses to use something from Diana’s own culture to elevate her. Instead of creating a scenario where she would need to conform to one of his cultural practices, Trevor chooses one that would have been natural for her. Isn’t that a lesson for us in empowering people?

Mixed-Gender Partnerships

What strikes me about Diana’s relationship with Steve Trevor is how, even though he is a spy and is powerful, he is not threatened by her power. The entire film, Trevor follows Diana into battle. She leads, and he follows. He recognizes that it is her gifts that are needed in given moments, and rather than competing for power or being envious of it, he lifts her up to do what only she can do.

Yet - Diana doesn’t totally overshadow Trevor’s role in the story. They are good partners because he challenges her too. When Diana has a naive perspective on the world and sees things only as black and white, good or bad, Steve confronts her with the truth that the world is more complex than we would like it to be. He confesses that there is both good and bad in all of us - including himself.

Trevor demonstrates excellent leadership. Even though he knows he is complicit in the problem of evil, he is willing to go into the fight to seek peace because he so desperately believes in it - so much so that he is willing to sacrifice his life for it. This inspires Diana to continue to fight injustice as Trevor did in order to seek peace for all people.

A Dream for a Better World

As I reflected on Wonder Woman with the podcasts hosts, I was invited to dream about a future where women and men can thrive and equal partnership. And here is what I dream:

I dream that one day it is so normative for women to be in rooms where decisions are made, that their presence is never questioned.

I want to see women step into the room like Diana Prince, confidently, not doubting herself or second guessing, but showing up to lead fully out of who she is because she grew up seeing women leading at every level of leadership.

I desire that one day women are so unafraid to live into her true identity and calling that they move boldly forward toward injustice to seek peace despite those who tell her, “you can’t.”

When she faces the heat of the battle and starts taking on the heat, I want to see men rise to the challenge and join her so that she is not alone. I want to see partnerships emerge between men and women that are mutual in our advancement of God’s Kingdom on the earth.

And I want to see men willing to hunker down beneath platforms, calling “shield” so that women can be lifted by their power to arise into the call they have been given - for the sake of the Gospel.

What about you?